Mea maxima culpa

Well, I was soooo wrong in an earlier blog. The Associated Press has reported that a Scientology great high mucky-muck has officially announced Tom Cruise is Scientology's "chosen one." He is their Christ.
My, my, my. Did I screw up or what? I simply cannot believe I have been so very wrong about this demi-god! How can I have failed to see his obvious divinity all this time? I just thought he was a good-looking guy who went looney-tunes. And all this time, he's been worthy of worship! Wow! It isn't often you get to see a real-life Messiah being proclaimed as such in your lifetime. What an honor! I am simply overcome with emotion.
You know, there's nothing like having a Messiah complex, and actually being proven right! How often does that happen? David Miscavige, the aforementioned great high mucky-muck said, "Cruise will be worshipped like Jesus all over the world as he becomes a prophet for the religion.” And he should know, right? Being the mucky-muck, and all, and former personal assistant to the great man, L. Ron Hubbard himself. So, he should recognize a messiah when he sees one.
Anyone who wants to see truly creative "religious" beliefs needs to check out Scientology on Wikipedia. It is as eye-opening as it is confusing. But I can't get into that here. No, this blog entry is specfically to apologize to Messiah Cruise for my earlier blindness.
This does bring up an interesting issue. How does one address a Messiah? He's not Jewish, so "Rabboni" or "Rabbi" doesn't work. What about "My Lord", "Your Majesty", "Your Holiness." But all those titles are simply too commonplace, too ordinary--too earthbound. No, for this new Messiah, we must bring our pitiful language skills to bear and create a brand-new title for such an exalted being: "Your Celestial Beingness" , "Your Cosmic Awareness" , "Your Inner Sanctumness." Hmmm. Somehow, they all fall far short of the magnificence that is Messiah Cruise.
There are other terms, however. What about "Wonderful, Counselor, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace"? What about "The Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end" or "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" or "The Lion of the Tribe of Judah"? All these terms are in use, of course, by the only Messiah who has ever proved worthy of the name: Jesus Christ.
I've got news for Cruise: he never told me, "Drink of the water I offer and thirst no more." He doesn't know me, doesn't number the hairs on my head, doesn't offer eternal life. Most of all, Tom Cruise never died for me. He never took my sins on his shoulders so I don't have to carry them. He's never atoned for my sins, or paid my debts that I could not pay. He doesn't answer my prayers and doesn't hear me when I cry in the night.
What Tom Cruise is, in reality, is a sad, pathetic, tragic human being, headed for a mental breakdown. As tempting, and admittedly, amusing as it is to ridicule his megalomania, I really shouldn't. This man needs prayer if a human ever did. Anyone involved with Scientology does. I hope Nicole remembers him at Mass and in her Rosary. May God have mercy on him.